So I was at a wedding last week and realized that there is a lot that you can learn from one! First and foremost the pressure to look your best not just for the wedding but for the allied ceremonies even if you are not the bride is such a daunting task! To top it, if you aren’t a fair skinned belle you are immediately subjected to condescending looks!
One such incident at the wedding was rather appalling. A quintessential fair and chic lady walked in with her family and when introduced to the dusky tomboy she couldn’t even force a courteous smile. What was worse is that she decided to turn her chair around and sit with her back facing towards our dusky tomboy! The same fair and chic lady when met another of her clan was seen chatty and delightfully relieved!
Another incident at the wedding concerning another poor dusky tomboy was rather tragic as she was a little plump apart from being dusky and a tomboy! God save her! So when this plump dusky tomboy along with her family met another family, the elderly lady of the other family took a good look at her (read sized her up top to bottom) and quipped, are you married? How many kids do you have? (Just because she was plump!?)
Both the incidents re-establish the fact that we haven’t moved beyond those tacky advertisements we heard of as kids. Yes, I am referring to the “good-looking-beautiful-slim-bride wanted” ad which to my utter dismay are still published in our national dailies!
So why is beauty associated with being fair and slim? I do not know the answer to that question but I sure do know that directly or indirectly right from our childhood we have been conditioned to accept beauty as a certain type of appearance; and this is without actually getting to know the beauty which lies within the person. Furthermore talent doesn’t find any relevance when the person in question is a female as we are only interested in objectifying her!
But both the above mentioned incidents were hard hitting because it suddenly dawned upon me that it is women who loathe women! At this juncture I would quote what my senior VP at my previous firm said to a group of women during Women’s Day. She said, accept and love yourself in all shapes, sizes and shades! I would go a little further and say not just accept yourself but appreciate all others and look beyond the colour and size of your female counterpart and get to know her talent. You never know you might find an angel beneath that dark exterior!
Until next week, ladies, learn to respect your own clan before you expect our counterparts to do it! Peace!